Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Found your dick twin last night
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
