batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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