You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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