Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
