Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Life is so much better after having sex.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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