I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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