i don't plan on having that self control this summer
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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