"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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