god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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