I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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