I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
