Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
