just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
