I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
