You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
