Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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