I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
