I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Randomize
