you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
