I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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