Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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