I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
