we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
