i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
