We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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