MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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