I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
i think i just lost a toe
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
