She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
