She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
MIDGETS
????
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
