so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
the night ended with taco bell and tears
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
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