I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
