Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
