That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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