Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
