I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
they're like a gay fantastic four
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
