ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
