The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Randomize
