Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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