She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
