I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Ladies don't puke and tell
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
