I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
