margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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