There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
