Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I understand Curling. That high.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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