took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
