You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
