so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
