She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
