Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
