I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
