It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
