Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
