a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Houston, we have a blender
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
